Go the f*ck to sleep

JakeArticles, Uncategorized

The cats nestled close to their kittens, the lambs have laid down with the sheep, you are cozy and warm in your bed, my dear, please go the f*ck to sleep.

You wanna win the PNC? Then you need to go the f*ck to sleep

The average American sleeps five to six hours. Five to six hours!? We’re not going to give you a set in stone recommendation. You, after all these years on earth, are probably likely aware of how much sleep you need to feel rested. Much like making good food choices, you need to be aware of your sleep requirements and make appropriate sleep choices. Five hours ain’t cutting it.

The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I’ll read you one very last book if you swear you’ll go the f*ck to sleep.

If you train you need to sleep more

This might be obvious but if you are training, i.e. coming to classes, then you must sleep more. How much more? It’s hard to say, but something in the ball park of for every hour you train you should sleep one additional hour on top of your daily requirement of sleep. In other words, if you feel great from eight hours of sleep normally, but you went to class that day, try to get nine total hours of snoozing.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest and the creatures who crawl, run, and creep. I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullsh*t. Stop lying. Lie the f*ck down, my darling, and sleep.

If you don’t sleep you will get fat

There’s science behind this, long and boring science but suffice it to say if you are not getting enough sleep you will cling to fat. Mostly because of elevated cortisol levels that you’re naturally going to try to level out with poor food choices like sweet tasting foods and too much caffeine. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter if you are making good food choices, your body, stressed and depleted from lack of sleep and intense exercise, will hang onto fat.

The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon. The field mice, they make not a peep. It’s been thirty-eight minutes already. Jesus Christ, what the f*ck? Go to sleep.

Learn sleep hygiene

There is something you can do about it: learn sleep hygiene. Just like the PNC, sleep hygiene is all about knowing your options and making good choices to create a desired result. First, you should stop watching T.V., using your phone or computer an hour before bed time. They emit blue light which stimulates cortisol. Cortisol is the hormone that wakes you up in the morning and you don’t want any of that when you need to sleep. Second, make your room as dark as possible. Remove all LED displays, your phone, and cover your windows so that they don’t admit light. Some people say it should be so dark that you can’t see your hand pass before your face. I don’t know if that’s necessary but your room should probably be darker than it is now. Third, only use your room for sleeping and sex. If you work, read, hang out, or watch television in there then you will associate it with a myriad of things other than rest. It is a place of rest. Keep it that way.

All the kids from day care are in dreamland. The froggie has made his last leap. Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f*ck to sleep.

Seriously, just go the f*ck to sleep.

I understand the world is busy and so is your life. But you started the PNC to make better choices with food and the next variable on your journey is going to be sleep. If something can make you feel and perform better in your busy life, why not try to do it?

The cubs and the lions are snoring, wrapped in a big snuggly heap. How is it you can do all this other great sh*t but you can’t lie the f*ck down and sleep?

Hang tough!